“Childish” Answers to Simple Questions


October 20, 2012 by rebeccaannemarshall

Hey look!!! A picture of the Instruction Book I got when I had my girls…

I know we have all probably expressed, at one point or another, how we wished that there was a handbook that came with raising children. Your parents probably said it too, and theirs before them. It is a long withstanding thought that most parents dream about from time to time.  Sometimes I think that if there ever WERE to be an actual “Guide to Parenting” that these questions should be included in there somewhere.

Simple Questions that I Wish had Simple Answers

•Why, after a half hour long war, do you refuse to eat ONE bite of the food I gave you. Then swarm me like wasps to an open can of pop in the dead of summer. And I am sitting with THE EXACT SAME FOOD!..???

•Why do you always feel the need to host a bathroom party whenever I need to go pee?

•Is there some sort of grocery-store-force-fields that really just send me straight to hell and turn you into feverishly hungry Satan’s minions that are only seeing food for the first time, EVER??

Do. Not. Be. Fooled. Pictures like this give you a false sense of security.

•What happens inside your head that turns you from a sweet-charming bag of cute to a screaming body of unrelenting fury, in 0.001 seconds?

•Does NO sound like “Go right ahead. Please, wipe your booger on the T.V screen”?

•Why do you always have to repeat my name 10,000,000 times till your face turns blue, if all you want to say is “Never mind”?

•Why do you WAIT until the VERY MOMENT that I have perched myself into a comfortable position before asking me to get you something from the kitchen… the place I. was. Just. In??

•How come when I have to literally drag you to the bathroom to go pee before we leave the house, do you suddenly “reeaallly reeeeeaaaalllly have to go peeee” the second we have hit the point of no return between the house and our destination??

I really could go on… and on.

Now I will say that there probably is an answer to all these questions. Rather opinions in the form of answers. However most of these opinion-answers are from other adults who observe these same behaviors and attempt to form a sort of psychological reasoning behind them. I would really like to just ask children these questions and see what the for-really-real answers are.

So that is exactly what I did. I chose to interview Belly, my attitude-full 2 (nearly three) year old daughter. And these were my findings.

1)      Me: Belly, why do you not eat your food but if mommy has the same stuff you steal it from me?

Belly: caaause I don`t want my pood. (We are still working on the proper pronunciation of the letter “F”)

2)      Me: And how come you like to hang out in the bathroom whenever I need to pee?

Belly: so I can go wif you. (OK simple enough)

PAUSE: That interview was cut really very short when the only answers I was getting from then on were “I.dont.wan.to *humph*”.

Interview later picked back up again by Chelsie.

3)      Me: OK, Chels, do you know why you guys always go so nut’s when we go to the grocery store?

Chels: Why?

Me: No, I meant I want YOU to tell me what YOU think.

Chels: Oh *giggle*giggle* its cause you dont know what to get *giggle* its kind of funny. Is that it?

PAUSE: Here is where I stopped to explain that there were no right or wrong answers, only that I wanted her thoughts. … Also do to my obsessive compulsion involved in my grocery list writing I can only assume she means she doesn’t believe I am getting the RIGHT stuff. OK. Moving on.

4)      Me: Can you tell me why sometimes you go from being happy and having fun to grumpy, in a matter of seconds?

Chels: Its cause somebody maked me mad…right?

PAUSE: Here is where I had to explain, again, that there is no right or wrong, just what YOU think the reason is. No right… no wrong… just your opinion… got it? “Yup *headnod* got it”.

5)      Me: OK, why does no mean yes to you?

Chels: (looking confused, or like the baby just pooped and she is trying to figure out why it smells like broccoli, either one) ummm can we skip this one its kind of weird… no doesn’t mean yes.

(Good answer my bug)

6)      Me: Why do you work so hard to get my attention if you have nothing to say?

Chels: Cause it takes too long to get your attention sometimes, I forget sometimes.

(… oh…… sorryboutthat…)

7)      Me: And why do you always wait till I’m sitting down before asking me for something instead of asking for it while I’m already up?

Chels: oh (she jumps right on this one like she KNOWS she has the answer right, yaknow even though there IS NO right or wrong) that’s cause you always tell me to hold on to my thoughts until you are finished being busy doing something.

(I had one of those, hmmm-I-never-thought-of-that moments)

8)      Me: OK last one. How come I have to fight you to go pee before we leave the house, then when we are out the door you have to pee all of a sudden?

Chels: Oh… ah…just cause?… I don’t know mom can I just go be a kitty now?

(I see, something’s really just have no explanation)

So as you can clearly see there ARE in fact very SIMPLE answers to these simple questions. No need to have a self-awarded-google-behavioral-psychology-degree to interpret. You want a quick easy answer, go straight to the source!

It all makes so much sense now, doesn’t it!!

Well that’s all for today! I hear my name being called and I think it is only the 4th time so I may just be in time before she gets to never-mind-zone.

See you on Tuesday! TATA!

Becky A.M


2 thoughts on ““Childish” Answers to Simple Questions

  1. Zoe says:

    Another great one, especially love the yelling till your face is blue, just to say never mind, as I have witnessed Chelsie doing that one lol

  2. Deb says:

    Awesome and oh my the answers are right on it making sense!

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