I Would Never!!


November 20, 2012 by rebeccaannemarshall

Nosey McJudgerson is not happy with what you just did there.

So there are many parent blogs or mom blog posts that I have read throughout the years that all seemed to have a version of this particular topic. Every one I have ever had the pleasure of reading has always thoroughly entertained me (I sincerely wish I could remember them all so that I could post some links for you). I always wanted to do a version of my own but would tell myself “No you shouldn’t, there are so many out there, it wouldn’t seem original, like copying an idea!” While this might still be very true, I just can’t seem to shake the thought of how fun it would be to write one myself, I thought, ah to heck with it! Ready? Here we go!

Things I never thought I would do before I had children. I think every person before they had children would pass certain judgement on other parents for what they observed them doing. Or would take cues from their parents as kids and would say “Man when I have children I am NEVER going to be like that!” Even all my friends and others out there who don’t have kids probably STILL do this and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that what so ever. Everyone does it or has done it. What I want to talk about today is how after having children you do those very things you said you would never do, and you don’t blink an eye.

Lets begin with what I think is probably the most common observations. I remember when I was younger watching a parent pick their baby right up into the air, bringing its backside to their face and then holding its butt to their nose and taking a big long sniff. I always use to think “How gross is that? When I am a parent I will surely have enough respect for those around me to not put on such a display in public. Why would you not just take your child to the bathroom, to the private, to check? No one wants to see you smelling around babies rear ends, we are not dogs for heavens sake!”

If my current mom self could have a conversation with my younger self I would say this. If every time my baby farted I had to take it for a trip to the bathroom I might as well just set up camp in there. I have better things to spend my time doing then to stop every 10 minutes or so to find a bathroom to change a potentially poopy bottom. Damn rights I’m going to smell her fanny, in fact not only is it just a simple convenience I find it 100% necessary in cutting back time on my already hectic day, thank.you.very.much! I’d even bet you 9 out of 10 parents you speak to will tell you that they are the proud butt sniffers of their tiny little bundles of joy.

Another common one I am sure I know, is the taste testers. I know when I was young I would see a parent spoon a bit of baby food onto a baby spoon and then proceed to bring it to THEIR mouth and do what I would call the lip (and sometimes tongue) sweep of babies food before then feeding it to them. I remember always not only wondering why but also thinking how gross it was. “Why do you need to run your mouth all over your babies food before you feed it to them? Way to share your spit with that poor helpless little one, you might as well just hock a loogie right into the bowl!”

Now clearly, young self, there is a very easy explanation to this. I.don’t.feel.like.burning my baby. If I have heated up the food, I want to make sure I am not spooning hot lava into my child’s mouth. The same goes for cold food, I would prefer not to give my child freezer burn in her mouth by shoveling ice into it. I use MY mouth because what better way to test the temperature that ones mouth might feel but by using a mouth to test it? Could I pack a meat thermometer in my purse, oh sure probably, do I want to? No. For this particular one I am aware that there are many parents out there that dont agree with using your mouth to test the temperature of your babies food (though I have not met any in person) however I am happy to be my children’s taste taster and I see nothing wrong with getting a little baby food on my lip in order to insure my babe does not develop a fear of banana because she is afraid of burning her tongue off.

Now this one I have heard from many people without children. Even have I heard it from those “super-mom” types, who have found the secret to unlocking a magical energy bank, and the power to add hours to their day, through some sort of superhuman mom time continuum. The “I will never let myself go like that”. You all know what I am talking about. The moms who let their looks fall to the wayside. I will tell you this when you have 3 children below the age of 7 (or any age for that matter) you may gladly “let yourself go”. If I have to be chasing after baby ninjas that never stop eating, pooping, screaming and fighting over every second of my waking, and lets face it my sleeping, hours for attention, I will gladly wear pajamas all day around the house and be thankful if I can manage to have a shower at least twice a week. Any extra time I may have is spent doing other things I enjoy while I can. I would much rather be happy doing what I love while I have the time to do it. You know, important things, like sleeping and playing on the computer.

Somebody! Stop the baby! She could get dirty!!

My sister reminded me of this lovely little one. “I would never let my kids run around looking like that!”. Hey sometimes my kids are dirty, are wearing what they wore yesterday or nothing at all but their diapers, have a dirty face and maybe knotted hair. I brush my girls hair, I wash their faces, I do laundry, I clean their clothes and dress them, but here is the secret that clearly I must reveal to some. My children… are children. I wash their faces and one millisecond later it looks like they washed it again… with mud. Their clothes are dirty because, contrary to popular belief, children don’t always understand to wash their hands before they touch their clothes, or are professionals at holding a spoon full of pudding at 2 years old. Heck sometimes my girls just don’t feel like wearing clothes! Who am I to deny them the simple pleasures in life. And YES sometimes, I admit, that I will let them wear the same thing two days in a row, they don’t mind, I don’t mind, GREAT one less thing to do, one less outfit to wash! I don’t feel like spending my ever so precious time continuously running around the house after my children with a wash cloth. God forbid there is ever one moment during the day were Belly has a speck of dirt on her cheek, better wash her down ever 3 minutes just in case someone might come to the door… not going to happen.

To be honest I could probably make this blog post a novel with all the things I thought I would never do and even never say, like the ever popular “Because I said so!” I remember promising myself that I would never let that be a reason I gave to my children about why they should or shouldn’t do something, but in reality I think that in some situations it is easier to say that then to go into a long explanation that would probably get ignored anyway. I now find it to be a common saying in our household.”Chelsie please stop wiping your boogers on the bathroom wall while you are on the toilet”, “Why?”, “Because it’s gross and because I said so!”

I think I will leave it at that, but I will say it is interesting, not to mention hilarious, to see what others used to observe parents doing and used to tell themselves “I would never!” Things that they now do since becoming a parent themselves. Like I said there are many blogs or articles out there with this same sort of topic in mind and, if you ever have the time, I believe it is worth while to go googling to see what you can find!

See you again on Saturday! Tata!

Becky AM


2 thoughts on “I Would Never!!

  1. These posts just getting better and better. Each time I read what I think is my favourite one, you write the next one and it becomes my favourite, lol. I’d love to read a part two of this, if you ever decide to do it!

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