A Mother Always Knows

1

November 24, 2012 by rebeccaannemarshall

my mother, surely she must be a wizard

Moms have eyes in the back of their heads. Now when I was younger I knew this to not be true, not literally anyway. However I always believed that my mom had a sixth sense of sorts when it came to my sister and I. She could be nowhere near us and yet still somehow know exactly what we were doing, or have her back turned and still be able to see my sister and I mouthing bad names to each other from across the dinner table. Even as I grew up I chalked it up to the fact that she was our mother and she just knew us better then we knew ourselves, which is likely a big part of it. It was only after having children, particularly a 6 year old, that I realized there is another very big reason for us mothers seemingly super human powers. That is the topic of today’s post.

Lets start off by saying this, you guys are just NOT as sneaky as you think you are. That’s it, that is all there is to it (mixed with a bit of knowing about how your brain works, because I am your mother). I know that I must have thought I was the sneakiest, most clever child when I was younger. It is funny to think back now and wonder what would make me think that. Oh I remember groundings, getting in trouble for lying, for sneaking, for doing something I shouldn’t. Yet instead of thinking “Hmmm I really must not be as good at this as I think I am,” I thought, “Mom must have figured out a way to read my mind”. As a child that is clearly the more logical answer. So I grew up never bothering to think about how bad I really was at trying to hide things, until I had a daughter who did the exact same things I probably did when I was her age.

Chelsie must think she is just an expert sneaker. Every morning she attempts to sneak a different toy to school. Every morning I find that toy. The following morning she has simply come up with what she believes is a new and improved method of toy smuggling. She has asked me many times how I knew she had a toy. Then it dawned on me. I had no super powers, no eyes in the back of my head, no sixth sense. She is just not very sneaky, cute, but not sneaky.

Imagine if you will, previously knowing your child has a streak of smuggler in her. You see a smirk faced little girl who keeps looking at the strap on her back pack as she holds on to it for dear life. When asked what she is doing, she then says “Nothing…. Oh and just so you know… you don’t have to check for toys today, I already checked for you and I don’t have any”. BAM! Cover blown. She has hidden, on the inside of her pack back strap, a small plastic dog that she was clinging on to by attempting to make it look as if she was merely holding the straps to keep them up on her shoulders. Clever Chelsie, very clever.

Another example is one that my sister pointed out to me, the room cleaning example. One in which I have sent Chelsie upstairs to tidy her room and I start to get a feeling that she is not cleaning anything. It’s just too quiet; I hear no footsteps, no nothing. I then call up stairs, in my suspicion, and take a guessing chance. “Chels? How come you’re not cleaning your room?” It is then that I get this response. “How did you know I wasn’t cleaning my room???” BAM! Because you just told me. No sixth sense needed. I didn’t really KNOW you weren’t doing as you were told, I merely had a hunch based on the lack of noise, and I acted upon that hunch. It was you my dear who told me you were not doing it.

I will give you one more example. This one could be said for all three of my girls. Dinner time. Maybe I get some argument about what was put in front of them. That they are not hungry or that they dont like what I made for dinner that night. They all do this, and not one of them has figured out the secret to being sneaky about it, yet every one of them will continue to do it as if there is just no possible way mommy or daddy will figure it out this time. First it starts with silence. This means they are busy doing something. I know they are not busy eating because my girls rarely stop talking, even with food in their mouths. Nope, only when they are concentrating really hard on something, are they ever this quiet. Second is when I notice the dogs are no longer in the living room, and it dawns on me that this must be why Chelsie was whistling a few moments ago. Next is when I hear the dogs eating something even though I am certain they do not have food in their dishes. Lastly is when, upon checking it out, I realize none of the girls have any food on their plates, when only 2 minutes ago they were full. To really drive home the lack of sneak, when then asked “Ok, who fed their food to the dogs?” Chelsie points at Belly, Belly points at Chelsie and Jade says “MEEEEE!”

In every single one of those situations I noticed, upon closer inspection, that not once did I use any sort of mom super power. This is when I realize AH HA! My mother is not magic! I was just a kid who believed I was the smartest most creative sneaker to grace this earth, when in actual fact, I sucked. The fact of the matter is, I just don’t think there is any one moment when I have used my back of the head eyes. Half the time, if it is not obvious something is up and I find out that way, it is because I suspect something and during interrogation my children tattle tale on themselves.

Having come to this epiphany, I have decided to hone in on it. Because I know that my children are not aware that they are just not as sneaky as they think the are and because they just think mom is psychic, I have started to use this to my advantage to get even more information out of them. Just by simply pointing out that I will find out if they are lying, I usually get the truth. Why? Because my children believe me. They don’t know how, they don’t know why, but mom will use her powers to figure it out, and what’s that ever popular saying I’m positive every parent uses? Ah yes “You will get in less trouble if you tell the truth then if you lie.”

So to my children. Next time you sneak into the bathroom and fill the toilet with rolls of toilet paper, I will know. Next time you smuggle a toy box into your back pack, I will know. Next time you open the fridge to let the dogs eat out of it, I will know. And next time you are hiding in my bedroom putting on my make-up, I.WILL.KNOW… Because you… one way or another… will be the one to tell me so.

See you on Tuesday! Tata!

Becky AM

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One thought on “A Mother Always Knows

  1. ROFLING! Read this to your dad and we are both still giggling…and you know his laugh? The quiet, shoulders shaking, hands over eyes? Yeah….and this part?

    “To really drive home the lack of sneak, when then asked “Ok, who fed their food to the dogs?” Chelsie points at Belly, Belly points at Chelsie and Jade says “MEEEEE!” ”

    One of your funniest moments you’ve shared.Oh my Jade.

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