November 27, 2012 by rebeccaannemarshall
“OMG! The kid’s went to bed at 7. SEVEN!!! So I got to catch up on all my recorded shows without having to pause it every 2 seconds, and lay on the couch comfortably without being used as a trampoline. It was pretty wild. What did you do?”
“MAN! I wish. I stayed up all night scrubbing vomit off the carpet upstairs before it stained. It wasn’t so bad though, only two of them had the flu this time.”
“Yea I know how that is, they all had the flu last week, the toilet has never SEEN so much action, if you catch my drift.”
“Oh I caught it, they caught it too! Hey I had a question. Should I be concerned if little Jimmy’s poop is yellow?”
“Nah, probably just the flu messing with him, and diet alone can change the color. How yellow is it?”
“Oh not that bad, just thought I’d ask”
“Oh ok, that’s fine, Katy’s poop was purple a couple weeks ago, probably ate a crayon or something. I know how it is.”
“Yea…. Hey, do you remember what we use to talk about before we had kids?”
“No … “
Yup, we are going there. The things mom’s talk about. Now I’m not saying that we would usually have a conversation like this with another childless human being, but if you have got children HEY that craps fair game! Pun intended. Heck mom’s converse with each other about bowel movements, and other bodily functions, the way some would talk about getting the mail or driving to the grocery store (which, by the way, is another thing we find ridiculously exciting). It’s not necessarily that we enjoy it, its that we really have nothing else to talk about. We look to each other for support and sympathy, suggestions and advice and quite frankly because there is no other people out there that care to hear about it.
We like to text our close mom friends with updates on how our miniature selves are doing in terms of how many times they have used the bathroom each day. Who else would understand the pure excitement that is a potty training child but another mommy!
1 new message:
**OMG Gill! Lil Suzie went peepee on the potty 5 x 2day, she even had a poopoo 2!**
We like to call each other up with funny anecdotes about how cute it was when Kelsey picked her nose and came up to us saying “Ook mama, a booooooogie!”
Us mothers are really a very special breed in this respect. No others would be willing to hear about this, let alone share our enthusiasm towards it.
Lets move on shall we. Now this is not the ONLY topic of conversation that moms enjoy. We also like to talk about what we made for dinner, how much laundry we did yesterday, how we got to sleep in till 7:30 this morning etc. Really, I mean we are an interesting bunch of people!
My sister and I talk on the phone almost everyday and our conversations are this. 40% of that time is spent talking about what we have to do that day, 15% is spent talking about how we a) wish we didn’t have to do it or b) aren’t actually going to do it, and 45% of that time is spent not actually speaking with each other but waiting for one of us to be done talking with our children.
Practically the most important thing we moms like to boast to each other about, is our ability to cook a dinner that sounds like only a robo-mom could find the energy to cook.
“Oh you should have been here last night Tabitha! I made steaks that I marinated in a homemade sauce over night. Then I made my own loaf of bread that we used for garlic toast, with twice baked potatoes and a Greek salad with lettuce I picked from my very own garden!! AND I actually hand squeeze the lemons myself for the lemonade, it was spectacular!! Oh and the girls just loved the homemade tiramisu cupcakes I did for dessert!”
“Cool, I put some pizza pops in the microwave and re-heated the left over french fries from last night.”
By the way there is a very reasonable explanation for that one. These types of dinners happen once in a blue moon. When dinners like this are accomplished there is a sense of other worldly pride in ourselves for the ability to pull it off, therefore we feel there is an immediate need to let others know. Simple as that.
We like to tell each other how wild last night was.
“I stayed up until like midnight watching the food network it was AWESOME! Had myself a bottle of wine and bag of chips. Oh and I FINALLY got to eat that chocolate bar I told you about that I have been saving so I didn’t have to share it. Yea, I was going to go to bed at a reasonable time but this really good show was on. Yup it was a crrrazy night… for sure.”
I know I must be painting a pretty darn fantastic picture about how interesting and full of adventure my life is. I’m sure by now you have come to the conclusion that all these examples I am using are just examples of myself incognito, but I am also sure I am not the only one who experiences social behavior like this.
There is, after having said all that, a deeper point to be made here. When you become a parent, nothing in your life becomes more interesting, exciting and wonderfully talk worthy, then your family and your children. I suppose it may be that I have not much else to talk about, but I’m not sure, if I did, that these things would cease to be a point of interest. The reason, in my opinion, that it is other parents with whom I choose to have these types of conversations with, is simply that they tend to really understand first hand the interest I have in them and can share in my enthusiasm. I mean I would gladly share all this information, and more, with my childless friends, but I fear I would scare them away. Having them think they have somehow made friends with an insane, poop obsessed wine addict with an unhealthy excitement for vacuuming and organizing. Also I apologize to any readers out there who may now feel the same about me.
Until Saturday! Tata!