Rules Rules Rules

1

December 1, 2012 by rebeccaannemarshall

Today’s post is about rules that I wish I could make around the house. I say I wish because logically there is just no room for these types of rules when you have a house in which so many people live, not only that but some are just not plausible. No, these are day dreams really, ones that will never become reality. I love my children, and when they are enjoying themselves I enjoy myself, when they are happy, so am I. I do not want to run a prison or a NO FUN ZONE as I have been accused of being by my oldest, but in my head these are some of the rules that I make. Here are my top 15 make believe rules. Tell me I am not the only one.

MH9002825521)      I just spent the last 2 hours scrubbing toothpaste off the mirror and cleaning the toilet. If you wish to brush your teeth do it outside. If you wish to use the toilet do so neatly. Please do not hesitate to clean up after any fugitive bodily fluids that may have tried to make a break for it before making it to the toilet water.

2)      I have now washed every dish we own for the 10th time in one week. New rule, no one touches the dishes in the cupboards here is a paper plate and you can eat with your fingers.

MH9002329773)      I really don’t feel like vacuuming the living room for the 5th time today. No more food, drinks or playing allowed.

MH9002327244)      Once it is dark outside my brain gets a signal saying that this means it is time to shut down for the day. I don’t care if it is winter and it gets dark at 430. No more sun means no more fun. It’s quiet time, sit down and color.

5)      Once you have been bathed and you are in your clean and comfy pajamas you must sit on the couch and avoid any and all possible things that could get you dirty. And knowing you, my beautiful children, that pretty much means everything.

MH9003835606)      6 o’clock in the morning is not happy time; there is no need to be so chipper. Chelsie, you must give me at least a half hour before you start singing show tunes and engaging me in a conversation about how every second in your day is going to play out. Jade, once I have had my required dosage of 2 cups of coffee I will be happy to play airplane with you and dance around the living room. Jeff, you are too enthusiastic, stop that. Belly, thank you for hating mornings just as much as I do.

7)      This is no longer aloud. “I wanna go outside”, “I wanna go back inside”, “I wanna go outside again”, “I wanna go inside”, “I wanna go outside”……. From now on you will get ONE I want to go outside and ONE I want to go inside, per day. That is it.

MH9002321518)      From 6 am until 5 pm on weekdays and 6 am until 7 pm on weekends the TV is yours, after that allotted time it belongs to your father and I. No amount of negotiating will convince us to watch more cartoons… unless it is a Pixar Film.

MH900287199

yes, I am aware these are pillows, I trust you can use your imagination

9)      The throw blankets on the couch are there specifically to look pretty. They are purely for decorative purposes, they are not there to keep you warm or to tear so savagely from its neatly assigned spot and then to be left carelessly crumpled in a heap on the floor. No I do not have a problem… the sign at the stores even said DECORATIVE THROW BLANKETS; I am simply following the rules. As should you.

10)   I just finished putting all our movies into alphabetical order and separated them by genre. Unless you can read you may no longer take movies from off the shelf without supervision.

MH90000133711)   When I ask for a hug, or try to get one from you, not only are you encouraged to give one to me but it is mandatory that you do so with the utmost enthusiasm and that you enjoy it. This is required of you whether or not you are being grumpy or are busy. You are all too young to not want mom hugs anymore and until you are 50 or older this rule remains the same.

MH90023306012)   If I have just washed, dried, folded, and put away all your clothes the drawers are off limits. No changing your clothes 10 times to find the perfect outfit, in fact just wear whatever is at the top of drawer so you don’t have to go un-folding everything in search of something to wear.

MH90002272113)   From now on every time it rains outside the dogs are required to put on boots before you take them out to go pee. Those boots must be removed and place outside the back door before allowing the dogs to return inside to my dry and clean living room.

MH90034747714)   When you are feeling ill it is mandatory for you to have, on your persons at all time, a bowl into which you may get sick. No more trying to make a mad dash to the washroom. Also your bedding will, for the duration of your flu, be wrapped in a disposable plastic cover.

MH90023348815)   When I spend 2 hours preparing and making you dinner you will eat it and you will enjoy every delicious bite of it. Although I understand that the food must surely taste so fantastic that feel you need to allow the dogs to indulge in it as well, and I appreciate your enthusiasm for sharing, this will no longer be allowed.

So reading through this list I am sure you can tell why these rule are and will continue to be just in my head. Like I said some are just not plausible, others are a little over the top and some are just pipe dreams that even if set in place would never work. Not only that but my children would certainly start to wonder just how crazy mommy really is. Not just an “Oh that mommy, she is so crazy” more like an “I think we need to get mom on some medication”. I felt the need to share these with you as I am positive that many parents have their very own lists of wishful rules whatever, or however crazy, they may be (I mean they are not REAL rules for a reason, right?)

MH900232199So here I go, off to fold some laundry, steal some hugs, and make another delicious dinner for my family and I. It is raining outside as usual and I also must take the dogs out to go pee. I am sorry clean carpet.

Until Tuesday. Tata!!

Becky A.M

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One thought on “Rules Rules Rules

  1. ROFLING….can’t stop laughing. This. was. so. good. Every rule I read I thought, oh, that is my favorite rule, then I would read the next rule and think oh, THIS is my favourite one. Seriously good stuff here!

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