Home Sweet Insanity


April 6, 2013 by rebeccaannemarshall

644435_10152587229965290_1187850845_nSo I have this horrible problem with anxiety that plagues my every day, one major problem being that I over analyze what I “assume” other people “must” be thinking about me. I only tell you this because I have seriously convinced myself that my neighbor’s surely must believe that I am housing an inpatient care facility for the mentally ill… no… the psychotic.

Let me give you a little back story here. We live in a townhouse, we are the corner unit, we share a wall with neighbor number 1 and a fenced yard with neighbor number 2. We also share a street on both back and front of our home that also holds houses for other families, or at least human beings… I assume. Although it would be crazy of me to be worried about them, I can’t possibly assume that they can also hear the daily chaos that oozes from my household, right?

68600_10152399450650290_1667651199_nIf you are not already aware, my children are of the lovely ages of 6, 3 and 2! It’s beautiful really, one toddler teething and experiencing the glory of the “terrible two’s”, one the “defiant three’s” testing her boundaries… and practicing her attitude… and her apparent need to be a bit of a tiny bully. Oh yes and not to forget about my little 6 year old, grade one, grown up who is a 16 year old at heart (as far as attitude goes that is)… or wants to be. What young girl does not long for the age of, what they see as, independence? (Man I tell you when I was in elementary I just could not WAIT to be a teenager, though I was ridiculously terrified of them).

Right, back on topic, the neighbors. Now I can hear their dogs bark, I can hear when they wonder up the stairs, or vacuum or watch movies or listen to music or…. OK it is certainly not as horrible as it sounds, it’s not as if these sounds are deafening, more of a dulled down I-only-know-what-the-sounds-are-because-I-recognize-the-noise-it-makes kind of sound. Having said that, I can not for one second believe them for ONE SECOND… I guess I already said that… when they say to me “Oh no! I never hear you guys!”. On one hand I appreciate that they must appreciate the fact that we have children. That they must understand that things can get a little noisy. Youknow, that they are just being nice and all that jazz. But I call bovine fecal matter on that one.

For one: My children have mastered the art of the scream. And I mean M.A.S.T.E.R.E.D, seriously someone needs to give them their PhD’s for it. It seems even, that they get better at it as the ages goes down. What I mean is that, though I always thought my oldest was a top notch screamer, she seems to have done an exceptional job of tutoring her younger sister in the art. The trend continued when we had our youngest. There is no real word in the English, or any other, language that can describe how professionally she screams. With the expertise of both her sisters teachings she has managed to surpass even their otherworldly ability to shatter glass. Now of course there is the inevitable sense of competition between the three of them. When one begins to showcase their gift, the other then feels as if they need to then showcase theirs… better, and then of course the other then feels that same need, and so on. You can only imagine the noise…. the. noise. The screaming. loud. noise.

seriously... wish you could hear squeals through pictures...

seriously… wish you could hear squeals through pictures…

Second case in point (and this is what usually leads up to “for one”): They are siblings, they argue. Arguing is more or less mostly consisting of, attitude, hitting, scratching, screaming, and crying. This may sometimes result in, as shameful as it is however honest, me foot stopping putting my foot down, hand clapping, time-out threatening… and I will admit occasionally breaking down and yelling over top of them myself, to be heard of course but really only adding to the noise (hangs head in shame).

Continuing on: Time outs. Every one despises them, I feel I may hate them more then my children do. Why? Because I am just no good at them. I was under the impression that they were meant to work. “Oh what’s that beautiful mother of mine? Time out? I was behaving badly? Inappropriately? Yes ma’am, I will get in this lovely corner and I will make nary a sound.” … What, that’s not how it works?

Well what I receive, is more screaming, a handful of foot stomps, a few attitude dripping verbal swords. Some begging, some refusing, some yelling, some kicking and screaming, some pleading, some… OK you catch the proverbial drift. Not to mention all of my girls are just ridiculously adorable and every one of them has mastered that perfect heart breaking pout that is most defiantly my achilles heel. It takes everything that I am, to stick to it and have them do that time out when they pull out the big guns and pout at me like their little hearts are breaking. But you hit your sister and you called me a vomit face and I have to put on the strict suit and put you on a time out *sigh*.

Now let us move on to the fun stuff shall we? What? My children are not all just attitude wielding stompy foot screamers you know.

We have high pitch squeals of laughter, insane cackling… I mean giggles. Screams in the form of “I’M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE” as apposed to the opposite “I’m expressing my anger right now” ones.

311239_10152283025080290_1254921743_nThe best, of course would be, when all three of my children turn into dogs and barrel around the house on their hands and knees yipping and howling and barking. Or when daddy gets in on the action and stomps around pretending to be a monster, and the girls run away screaming excitedly and laughing in their window shattering pitch.

I mean between all described above sometimes I wonder what goes through my neighbors minds as they sit down to watch T.V to the noise of muffled screaming mixed with human barking and high pitched cackling.

312611_10152354032890290_574130911_nNow I just want to clarify that it is not as if these things are going on 24/7. We have many the quiet time, movie watching, semi quiet craft sessions, and of course when the girls are all busy stuffing their faces with delicious food. Our house is, more or less, days spent enjoying a glorious mixture of fun and relaxation and grumpy times. Though during the periods throughout the day, when I feel like I just may go def, or I myself start to giggle over how crazy the house is getting, I can’t help but wonder if my neighbors think we are just a house full of insanity.

I imagine them terrified, huddled in the corner of their living room, waiting for the moment that a swarm of lunatic flailing arm dog-beings comes crashing through our connecting wall, giggling insanely, with their raging monster father storming after them. Nobutreally what, I wonder, do they think goes on over here??

Does anyone else out there have a home of insanity? I like to feel that I am not alone on this, I feel this is a completely normal occurrence when you have multiple children. I guess I am just longing for that proverbial pat on the back and to be told that I am not the only one who has crazy children, and not to feel bad about being what seems like the loudest house on the blockin the neighborhood … of the entire city.20488_10152362270880290_1960722525_n


… seriously it. gets. loud. in. here.

Until next Saturday! Tata!

Becky A.M


19 thoughts on “Home Sweet Insanity

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh yes my house is a crazy place! But i cant say i have ever been called a vomit face hahha oh man. I know the screaming your talking about haha

  2. moorme02 says:

    Sounds like daily life at my house, except add in an infant and 3 real barking dogs.

  3. linbritt says:

    I’m sure it’s just white noise to them!!

  4. Zoe says:

    Yes I remember Belly and Mae mae’s duet screams very well, sometimes late at night, I still here the sound.

  5. JayNine says:

    I laughed and now have perma-smile! Thank You sooooooo much!!! I SO UNDERSTAND the truths of motherhood as you do! Amazing and thanks for the screams; I could hear it…I got my own screecher ready to run and play outside now see ya! so glad we got linked up somehow! Jeanine

    • So glad you enjoyed the post! Happy outside play 🙂 it’s a wonderful rainy day here so me and my squealers are stuck inside the house today making “roads” out of pictures books 😀

  6. Perfectly Imperfect says:

    You are not alone. All my house is, is insanity. I am in a half double, my neighbor is a slightly older retired man. He told me he enjoys the noise. At least you have neighbors who pretend not to hear or may actually not hear all of you. Just think one day you’ll miss the noise.

    • Oh I am sure I will, even when daddy takes all the girls out to do something, the quiet inside the house almost just doesn’t seem right. I am glad we have neighbors who understand, in fact our shared-wall neighbor has a new baby themselves (their first child) so they may just be over there thinking the same thing “Oh baby stop crying, the neighbors are going to think we are so loud!!” 🙂

  7. Miriam says:

    Yes, we’ve had a home of insanity. I say *had* because I like to think it’s finally getting better. We had a fairly quiet home with our older two, then my younger boys changed everything. I would be so miserable trying to live in a condo/townhouse etc. Just moving to a neighborhood with people around us has been stressful enough. I’m always so worried what people think. I wish I could stop caring so much. Anyway, I feel your pain. Is it possible that you could move to your own house at some point? Shared walls are tough. But I love the idea of not having to do yard work- my husband and I are already talking about moving into a condo when our kids are grown….

    • Deb Marshall says:

      Reading this made me re-think my own reply to this post. I really do understand the stress of worrying about what the neighbors think and not because there is anything bad or questionable going on…it is just that inexplicable “thing” that makes you hyper aware of everything you do/say/don’t do/don’t say. So I can only imagine what it would be like living in a condo. We now live in a very very quiet small town with hardly anyone out and about and we have a corner lot with no one on either side of us. Boy oh boy…I love it and realize that the lack of peoples about is a good part of that.

    • Well as it seems a move may be in our future *crossing fingers* so *more crossing fingers* we are on the search for a house! And thank you for reading, so very glad I am not the only one. Sometimes you just have to find the humor in it, you know to just sort of keep yourself from literally going crazy 😉

  8. Deb Marshall says:

    Well my Beck…all I can say to you and all my wee grand babelings is ROCK ON MAN! ROCK ON. Quiet tippy toeing is highly overrated…unless you have clippity cloppity dress up shoes on of course.

    Loved, loved reading this I must say. Full of the same life and energy I know your household is filled with.

    p.s I am very sorry for passing on the overthinking/worrying/anxious gene to you.

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