March 30, 2013 by rebeccaannemarshall
So many times have I done, something, said something, or things are just a certain sort of way, and I would have myself convinced that I must be the only one. It is so relieving, not to mention funny, when whilst talking with another parent (or, hey, reading parent based blogs) I find out that I am in fact NOT alone. Some things that just seem so strange, end up being not strange at all.
When you become a parent, you see, there is a sort of chemical that is released into your brain that makes you a certain way, (this is obviously a very scientific fact…) studies have shown that this chemical occurs in NEARLY everyone once they enter parenthood. Proof of this study is simplified by the fact that there is just no other reasonable explanation as to why so many parents have so much in common, regardless of obviously having different children.
The scientific name for these chemicals is Aparentonin Thingorphins, also know as aperanthingorphins (pronounced a-paren-thing-or-fins). Here are some examples of what studies have show. These particular examples are the effects of aperanthingorphins in subjects who have one or more children. Aperentonin Thingorphins may be effecting you if…
· You consider the paint stains on every dishtowel and/or washcloth in your house, a completely normal thing.
· There is absolutely nothing gross about analyzing that massive poop in the diaper, because you are just amazed by the sheer size of it.
· You then tell your significant other all about said giant poop. Seriously though, it was freaking HUGE!
· In public, with out your children, people still say “Oh you must be a mom” because you subconsciously ALWAYS do the “sway”.
These chemicals seem to program your mind to tell your hips to constantly rock for baby soothing purposes… even if there is no baby on hand.
· Having a conversation on the phone consists mostly of
telling your children to stop trying to break your eardrums screaming. This is usually followed by a heavy sigh and the ever popular saying “Yea, I’m probably just going to have to let you go.”
Contrary to popular belief this particular symptom is most defiantly caused by the chemical, however it may seem it is caused by the children themselves. The scientists involved in this study still have yet to conclude any solid reason as to why this might be.
· Saying “Do you need to go to bed?” Is your fall back weapon of choice when dealing with unruly children.
Studies have found that this particular sentence seems to be most effective in getting children to stop and listen. They believe that this may be a product of the chemical’s signals sent to the vocal cords, causing a pitch and tone that is highly intimidating when this sentence is being spoken.
· You can recite every word to the movie Wreck-it Ralph (or insert movie title here_______) 2 days after purchasing it…..
Again scientists believe this is an effect of the chemicals ability to hinder the brains need to explode after multiple showings of one same movie, in turn it also heightens its ability to hold on to information, causing you to be able to recall nearly every moment of said movie at the drop of a hat.
· Come 6:00pm, you count down the minutes until baby-bed-time and your first
bottle glass of wine…………. what?
There has been no further studies towards what roll this chemical plays in this particular symptom, however it must be noted that about 80% of all test subject experience similar versions of this symptom.
· You get uncontrollably excited to see poop and/or pee inside the tiny toilet in your bathroom.
· You have a tiny toilet in your bathroom…..
While this is not necessarily caused by the chemical itself, scientists agree that it should be included in the results of this study, as it is OBVIOUSLY a parent thing… otherwise you are just a very… very strange person.
· Your most well utilized house cleaning product is a baby wipe.
· You realize it is just not sensible to bathe your children every day.
It is believed that this occurs when the chemical is actually releasing in its lowest amount, rather then when the chemical is truly apparent within the brain. It seems to be the cause of what we call “being tired”, in which studies found most parents would simply choose to grab a wipe for their cleaning needs.
· Having to clean art work off the wall, 5 time outs, 2 bowls of spilled snack crumpled into the carpet and only one successful nap is a GOOD day.
What is believed to be the most important role this chemical has to play, is its ability to release an overwhelming amount of patience, studies are still in the process of finding out why it is that aparenthingorphins cause such patience, but it seems, again, to be present in about 80% of test subjects.
Well I best be going, I’ve got the last half of Wreck-it Ralph to finish watching and a bag of chips to clean up off the floor (sacrilege!)
On a very quick side note, if anyone here reading has been keeping up with my posts you know about my March Madness challenge (if not you can go have a peek and read more about it here!). Being as it is the end of the month I thought I would just do a very short and sweet update. As of today (which is actually the 24th) I am a mere 6000 words short of reaching my goal of 20,000 words for the month of march, and I am happy to inform you that my other goal of writing all blog posts ahead of time, instead of last minute, has been a complete and total success! Does (or did) anyone else have any goals they set for themselves for this month, through march madness or otherwise? I’d love to hear about it!
Also, if you feel you may be affected by Aparentonin Thingorphins please feel free to weigh in!
Until next Saturday! Tata!!
Oh and just so as I don’t totally miss it, I hope every one has a most fantastic Easter holiday!